Hey. A lot of things happened in July. But I was also not on Twitter as much. That really just means that a recap is probably not necessary, and I wouldn’t be great at writing one anyway. These are the best tweets I did see in July.
While writing in a birthday card I got sad I couldn't use emojis. Now mourning the loss of my ability to use words to convey my feelings.
— Cindy Warren (@cindy_warren) July 1, 2017
Unfortunately I can't give blood because I'm 83% sweet tea
— David DeWeil (@daviddeweil) July 1, 2017
What language are they referring to? and what language do they THINK they're speaking??
This line keeps me up at night. pic.twitter.com/Y94A4nkcn0
— Nathan W. Pyle (@nathanwpyle) July 2, 2017
A prayer for long life: Lord, may my beloved and I reach the age that photos of us holding hands on the street become Instagram-worthy.
— Ruth Graham (@publicroad) July 2, 2017
Wouldn't be a family gathering without Grandma calling someone a floozy.
— Heather Warfield (@HeatherWarfield) July 2, 2017
July 4th weekend always reminds me how thankful I am for my freedom as well as how much I need a friend with a pool
— David DeWeil (@daviddeweil) July 2, 2017
Don't forget it's America's birthday tomorrow. It would mean a lot if you gave her a call. I think she's been going through a lot lately.
— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) July 3, 2017
Forgetting the gospel doesn’t mean you can't remember the facts; it's the tendency to no longer be captivated and influenced by its truth.
— Nathan Rose (@nathanrose33) July 3, 2017
Cicadas in the heat of the day, and crickets chirping at night–I love these ambient sounds of summer. 💕
— Sharon Hodde Miller (@SHoddeMiller) July 4, 2017
It's like your girlfriend breaking up with you, & then celebrating with fireworks. Every year. For 300 years.
—@StephenMerchant #4thjuly— Sam Allberry (@SamAllberry) July 4, 2017
“Why is it never tomorrow?” — my 4 year old asking deep questions too early this morning
— Aaron Earls (@WardrobeDoor) July 4, 2017
Finished season 1 of Victoria last night and then watched Great British Baking Show this morning. Feel like I'm failing this July 4th thing.
— scott james (@scott_h_james) July 4, 2017
The 4th of July is about 2 things- Independence and sucking your stomach in for pictures.
— Sean Lowe (@SeanLowe09) July 4, 2017
"Put it in the pool, you'll be fine."
My First Aid summer treatment program
— Jan Moyer (@moyermama) July 4, 2017
Technically, the founding fathers died for your freedom to post blurry fireworks photos on Instagram.
But don't push it.
— Fake J.D. Greear (@FakeJDGreear) July 5, 2017
"Fourth of July!" – shirtless pics on Instagram
— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) July 5, 2017
I can't find my Old Navy flag tee and the fireworks show is in an hour so yes of course my family is screaming and crying
— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) July 5, 2017
Blessed that boomerang gave us something new to do w our firework pics
— erinmcgown (@erinmcgown) July 5, 2017
Neighbor child: Charlotte, let's pretend we speak other languages.
Char: I do!
Neighbor: Let me hear.
Char: My name is Inigo Montoya. #yes— Angie Smith (@angiesmith19) July 5, 2017
Phinn went to the doctor this afternoon for a random fever.
Gigi: Phinn, what did the doctor say?
Phinn: No more monkeys jumping on the bed.— Lydia McMillan (@lemcmillan) July 6, 2017
Okay, bear with this next series. Promise it’s worth it.
Liked
— Andrew T. Walker (@andrewtwalk) July 7, 2017
More
— Andrew T. Walker (@andrewtwalk) July 7, 2017
Threads
— Andrew T. Walker (@andrewtwalk) July 7, 2017
A
— Andrew T. Walker (@andrewtwalk) July 7, 2017
Thing
— Andrew T. Walker (@andrewtwalk) July 7, 2017
True story: I’ve unfollowed people solely because they only tweet in threads. Y’all. BLOGS ARE FREE.
"I wouldn't say I'm massively looking forward to it" – Translation: Since my invite I've thought of nothing but possible excuses not to go
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) July 7, 2017
The best writers, like Orwell and Steinbeck, knew when to use sharp, humble, and concrete words over fancy, ambiguous descriptions.
— Rachel Joy Watson (@racheljoywatson) July 7, 2017
I'm the kind of mom who checks the lemonade ingredients for corn syrup but then impulse buys Cosmic Brownies. So.
— Laura McClellan (@laura_mcclellan) July 9, 2017
Just completed a minor plumbing repair without incident! This is probably what cocaine feels like.
— Chad Gibbs (@Chad_Gibbs) July 9, 2017
every few hundred days I ask my friends to sing to me and they make sure i can blow fire out. weird but it's our tradition!!
— Nathan W. Pyle (@nathanwpyle) July 10, 2017
The older I get the more I realize that not having it figured out is just part of being a person and we're all doing pretty o k
— Judson Collier (@JudsonCollier) July 10, 2017
in my opinion Prime Day was created by corporations just to make us spend more money
— Richard Clark (@TheRichardClark) July 10, 2017
my role models? one time i had ramen w a friend and his gf and she brought a bobby pin to keep her bangs out of the way. also auntie anne
— Dami Lee (@dami_lee) July 10, 2017
"If this comes down to Bryan and Peter for the final 🌹 ceremony, not gonna lie. There'll be tears. Mine." ~ @micahfries #TheBachelorette
— Lizette Beard (@LizetteBeard) July 11, 2017
Nothing reveals a person's true character like a crisis. Or having a blog.
— Karen Swallow Prior (@KSPrior) July 11, 2017
My new diet plan. pic.twitter.com/zuHyLLsZBY
— Erin Hicks Moon (@erinhmoon) July 11, 2017
Take me back 2 the good old days of texting and driving instead of Instagram story/responding to Instagram stories while driving lol smh
— erinmcgown (@erinmcgown) July 13, 2017
The other day I saw a man shaving and smoking a cigarette while driving. I forgot to tweet about it because I couldn’t come up with a joke, but I just wanted you to know. Thank you.
I'm just a girl… standing in front of a boy… trying to maintain consistent and confident eye contact.
— MeLissa Luna (@ohdarlinggirl) July 13, 2017
In the movies the hero can operate any machine no matter how complicated, I can't figure out how the shower works in a strange hotel room.
— Ron Hyndman (@ronhyndman) July 15, 2017
Don't judge a joke by how many retweets it gets. Instead, judge it by how many other accounts steal it. That's the real measure of humor.
— Aaron Earls (@WardrobeDoor) July 15, 2017
Entering the wrong condo on vacation while live streaming a sermon on your phone counts as missions & evangelism right?
— Jeremy Maxfield (@JRMaxfield) July 16, 2017
If I could channel one ounce of the efficiency of the Brentwood Chick-fil-a drive through at lunchtime, my life would be different.
— Laura McClellan (@laura_mcclellan) July 17, 2017
God is good.
Always.— Micah Fries (@micahfries) July 19, 2017
If y'all think we Nashvillians are insufferable when it snows, you'll want to unfollow us mid August when the solar eclipse occurs
— Sarah McStephens (@sarahmcstephens) July 19, 2017
Watching "National Treasure"…
10: Are there any zombies in this?
Me: No, but there's a Nicholas Cage.— Jan Moyer (@moyermama) July 19, 2017
Hey, guys, will I be able to follow the new "Transformers" movie if I haven't read the book?
— Jared C. Wilson (@jaredcwilson) July 20, 2017
Let that special someone know you're really into them by tagging yourself in their pics
— David DeWeil (@daviddeweil) July 20, 2017
God is so powerful that something that didn’t even EXIST had to obey Him. “Let there be light.”
— Steve Patton (@StevenPatton) July 21, 2017
me on wednesdays: so ready for the weekend!!
me on fridays: what do i even do on weekends??— Judson Collier (@JudsonCollier) July 21, 2017
From the Old Testament to the New, one thing is clear:
God keeps every promise.
— Jackie Hill Perry (@JackieHillPerry) July 22, 2017
Me: "Jesus loves you no matter what." #Dubs: "I don't like Jesus." // 😐discipleship of my kids is going GREAT, guys. Thanks for asking.
— Laura McClellan (@laura_mcclellan) July 23, 2017
"Well done, my good, good servant. It's who you are. It's who you are. It's who you are." – How I hope Jesus welcomes Chris Tomlin to heaven
— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) July 23, 2017
Our DVD player has given up. pic.twitter.com/YLTZLTJwf8
— Laura McClellan (@laura_mcclellan) July 24, 2017
Reading article about things I should have done in my 20s. The best thing I ever did in my 20s was turn 30.
— Jamie Golden (@jamiebgolden) July 24, 2017
I just bought a stick of old spice deodorant bc even if your dating life isn't going well you should at least smell like it is.
— erinmcgown (@erinmcgown) July 24, 2017
You can find all of my jokes that got a good laugh in real life repeated later on my twitter feed.
— Heather Warfield (@HeatherWarfield) July 25, 2017
My daughter left me a note that says, "You are the best daddy in my home."
It was both a delightful complement and a pretty sick burn.
— Eddie Kaufholz (@EdwardorEddie) July 25, 2017
"How many more days is camp? I haven't pooped since I got here."
I meant do you have any questions about the song we're working on.
— Kristin Weber (@kristinweb) July 26, 2017
it takes all the energy in the world to hope
— Richard Clark (@TheRichardClark) July 26, 2017
It's not even noon and I have 2 friends that had babies today, & a third who is due today. I'm over here eating pizza for breakfast.
— Rachel Trammell (@racheltrammell) July 27, 2017
Perhaps, thanking God in the little things can train us to be thankful in all circumstances.
— Jackie Hill Perry (@JackieHillPerry) July 27, 2017
Got crazy & ordered a grande coffee w/ free star reward & the lady was all GO VENTI & I was all THAT'S CRAZY BUT SURE and now I can't blink.
— Cindy Warren (@cindy_warren) July 28, 2017
The cover of next month's @Southern_Living magazine. pic.twitter.com/x7LccOHA5e
— Jamie Golden (@jamiebgolden) July 29, 2017
THEN THEY OBVIOUSLY DONT CARE
— Jared C. Wilson (@jaredcwilson) July 29, 2017
Really thought folks'd be done putting dog faces on their selfies by now.
— Jared C. Wilson (@jaredcwilson) July 29, 2017
My favorite thing to do on a Saturday night is go to bed
— David DeWeil (@daviddeweil) July 30, 2017
I'm grammar shaming. HATE ME IF YOU WANT.
🙅🏻"That's Bob and I's camper over there."
🙌🏻 "That's Bob's and my camper over there." pic.twitter.com/ziMIPahyB9
— Kendra: Lazy Genius (@hiitskendra) July 30, 2017
Oh, I'd say at least 14 pic.twitter.com/oFjH2P8Edy
— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) July 30, 2017
My time on bumble has taught me that I don't like anyone lol smh
— erinmcgown (@erinmcgown) July 31, 2017
I know I'm getting old, but h&m is such a hard place to look if you want to buy an entire shirt.
— Jen Hall (@jeninthewild) July 31, 2017
Every evangelical parent when they read Jesus Storybook Bible to their kids. pic.twitter.com/phMpcIPMUj
— Aaron Earls (@WardrobeDoor) August 1, 2017
Elizabeth Hyndman likes drinking tea, using parentheses, and living in Nashville. Follow her on twitter