December is always filled with Christmas and New Year tweets and I’d have it no other way. Here are the best tweets in my feed this month.
If you're frustrated because you can't seem to do what God has called you to do, it's because only God can do what God has called you to do.
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) December 1, 2016
*Reads one Wendell Berry essay*
*Purchases plot of land and walks around grocery stores telling people about the dangers of agribusiness*
— Cortland Gatliff (@cortgatliff) December 1, 2016
THEY JUST MENTIONED SONG OF SOLOMON and I'm not close enough to hear the discussion.
— Cindy Warren (@cindy_warren) December 1, 2016
Having plants is very satisfying, but almost killing a plant then bringing it back to life is 10x more satisfying.
— Rachel S. Mom (@RachelGZink) December 1, 2016
Sometimes, "Bless your heart" isn't strong enough…
— Jonathan Howe (@Jonathan_Howe) December 2, 2016
There needs to be a special home for children who are learning how to whistle.
— Barnabas Piper (@BarnabasPiper) December 4, 2016
Georgie doesn't shout "Amen!" very often during sermons, but she does elbow me and whisper, "You need to write that down." A lot.
— Ron Hyndman (@ronhyndman) December 4, 2016
Real talk: if you only send a Christmas card to your married friends, and not your unmarried friends, you are LITERALLY the worst.
— Tiffany Dorrin Olsen (@TiffanyDOlsen) December 5, 2016
Also, thanks for sending Christmas cards even when you don’t get one in return. 🙂
This is how to survive, I think:
You gotta let some things go.
— Melissa Moore (@MelissaMoore77) December 5, 2016
"It's on my list" – Translation: I'll do it in 2017, if at all
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) December 5, 2016
3 things re: women Bible teachers: 1)We have to study hard to be taken seriously. 2)We may never be taken seriously. 3)We study hard anyway.
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) December 5, 2016
Really grateful for the excellent pieces being published currently on women in ministry. I also really hope men are reading & sharing them.
— Lore FergusonWilbert (@lorewilbert) December 5, 2016
I LOLed and also thought of Point of Grace https://t.co/Mva7Xnqy3n
— Alissa Wilkinson (@alissamarie) December 6, 2016
I also thought of PoG when seeing this. So funny.
I can't even commit to putting a sticker on anything which is why I'll never be able to get a tattoo.
— Rachel S. Mom (@RachelGZink) December 6, 2016
Some of us want in the worst way to be fearless but, fact is, we're not. What we can be is brave. Knee-shaking obedience is still obedience.
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) December 6, 2016
As a kid, I always wanted a rock tumbler for Christmas. Until I learned it takes 14 days per rock. That's a fun toy for a 6 year old!
— Jon Acuff (@JonAcuff) December 6, 2016
Paris Hilton is worth $100M. I just want to be wealthy enough to mean it when I try to stop someone from paying for my meal.
— Cindy Warren (@cindy_warren) December 7, 2016
— Tiffany Dorrin Olsen (@TiffanyDOlsen) December 7, 2016
I’ve learned this week I’m very anti-what-kangaroos-look-like-in-real-life.
— Erin Hicks Moon (@erinhmoon) December 8, 2016
It's Emily. Maybe Emilie if I'm in a generous mood. Under no circumstances is it Imaly. Just stop.
— Kendra: Lazy Genius (@hiitskendra) December 9, 2016
Having a Classy Christmas Sweater Party at my house tomorrow night. Award for the most fashionable, stylish and properly fitting sweater.
— John Crist (@johnbcrist) December 9, 2016
Is this the next thing?
What's the essential oil to use when you get peppermint essential oil in your eye? Not that I need it or anything. But please help. Quickly.
— Amanda Bast (@AmandaMBast) December 9, 2016
My trick to happiness- pretend that bread is good for you.
— Ben Schwartz (@rejectedjokes) December 10, 2016
— WhatYeLooketh (@WhatYeLooketh) December 10, 2016
New favorite follow this month.
Businesses: "It's 90 outside; let's keep it a comfy 70 inside."
"It's 35 outside; let's make it 90 in here."
— Barnabas Piper (@BarnabasPiper) December 10, 2016
There are some duds but on average Christmas carols offer some of the best biblical and gospel-centered theology in classic hymnody.
— Eric Schumacher (@emschumacher) December 11, 2016
🎶Can’t keep my Elf on the Shelf🎶
— Kevin T. Porter (@KevinTPorter) December 12, 2016
ellipses are so passive aggressive…
— Molly Gentry (@mollsabeth) December 13, 2016
And this editor reads them that way …
If you're having a tough day, just remember…one of Maria Von Trapp's favorite things was doorbells.
— Jamie Golden (@jamiebgolden) December 14, 2016
Star Wars fan theory: Yoda's parents are Kermit & Miss Piggy. We can all see that, right? I'm nailing it, right?
— MeLissa Luna (@ohdarlinggirl) December 14, 2016
"I can’t get the emojis to show up in my post!” — Thing I just said. Out loud. For something at work.
2016, man …
— Aaron Earls (@WardrobeDoor) December 14, 2016
"Stories and songs are ways to smuggle truth into people's hearts." @AndrewPeterson
— Garrett Kell ن (@pastorjgkell) December 17, 2016
Under a tornado watch AND a winter weather advisory. Not really a 'tender Tennessee Christmas' yet.
— Trevin Wax (@TrevinWax) December 17, 2016
Wonder how changed the Church would be at end of 2017 if we majored on cheering what she does beautifully instead of pointing out blemishes.
— Lore FergusonWilbert (@lorewilbert) December 17, 2016
— Jamie Golden (@jamiebgolden) December 20, 2016
The great dilemma that sooner or later churns in the chest of every person with position is how much there is to lose to do what is right.
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) December 20, 2016
I want to look in the face of every woman—and in the mirror too—and say, "That's it, friends, it really is that simple." Praise Him.
— Lore FergusonWilbert (@lorewilbert) December 20, 2016
"I need to ask my son the funny thing he said so I can tweet it."
"Ma'am, he's in class."
"That's okay, I'll wait."
— Jan Moyer (@moyermama) December 20, 2016
The thumbs-up emoji is one of the best communication innovations in a long time.
— Daniel Darling (@dandarling) December 20, 2016
I just canceled my Comcast in under 10 minutes so I feel like I can conquer anything now.
— Molly Gentry (@mollsabeth) December 21, 2016
My grandparents just showed me photos of their cemetery plots. Happy Holidays!
— Jen Hall (@jeninthewild) December 21, 2016
Don’t test me today, Facebook. pic.twitter.com/nac6eR7x8m
— Laura McClellan (@laura_mcclellan) December 22, 2016
After 20 days without candy or soda, I can testify that abstaining does not enrich your life one bit.
— Matt Smethurst (@MattSmethurst) December 22, 2016
Got a "sneakers badge" from my Fitbit for walking a lot today.
Getting useless rewards from a watch is more motivating than I'd expected.
— Kristin Weber (@kristinweb) December 24, 2016
Looking for a last minute gift for that special person?
It's Christmas Eve.
You've forgotten them.
It's time to sever the relationship.
— Eddie Kaufholz (@EdwardorEddie) December 24, 2016
Jesus, born in a barn. Always leaves the door open.
— Jared C. Wilson (@jaredcwilson) December 25, 2016
They need a Christmas Eve service where they just light candles so people can get an Instagram picture and leave.
— Kristin Weber (@kristinweb) December 25, 2016
"We already heard the Christmas story, why are we doing it again?"
Said the kids who've watched every Teen Titans Go episode 11 times.
— Jan Moyer (@moyermama) December 25, 2016
Road tripping on Christmas Day when everything is closed is pretty much like being on Oregon Trail.
— Sharon Hodde Miller (@SHoddeMiller) December 25, 2016
It's 70 degrees outside but mom bought snowman marshmallows so SIT DOWN YOU'RE DRINKING HOT CHOCOLATE
— Luke Buchanan (@LukeBuchananana) December 25, 2016
Persuading everyone to play a board game and accidentally destroying your family
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) December 25, 2016
With temperatures in the 70s, the only white we saw today in TN was on the legs of people wearing shorts for the first time in months.
— Aaron Earls (@WardrobeDoor) December 25, 2016
Shout out to everyone who makes travel stops based around @ChickfilA locations. 🙌🏻
— Andrew T. Walker (@andrewtwalk) December 26, 2016
Watching romantic/unrealistic Christmas movies–
Him: It's always a snow globe
Me: Don't ever get me a snow globe
— Samantha Gratton (@samanthamaeby) December 26, 2016
I am also cool with never getting a snow globe as a romantic Christmas gift.
Y'all, this is the first time I've ever been on the cover of a magazine in Walmart and I've found it surprisingly disarming. pic.twitter.com/qWdzCbadto
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) December 27, 2016
ROUND THE CLOCK PROTECTION OF DOLLY PARTON TIL WE GET OUT OF 2016 PLEASE.
— MeLissa Luna (@ohdarlinggirl) December 27, 2016
The "experts" say if you want to be healthy, remove the temptation from your house. So I am. I'm eating it all today.#MissionAccomplished
— ItsMe_AmyT (@ItsMe_AmyT) December 28, 2016
The things that made you weird as a kid make you great today. – @JamesVictore
— Jon Acuff (@JonAcuff) December 29, 2016
If the degree to which I am nerding out over my new planner and setting goals is any indicator, 2017 is going to be awesome.
— kristen m stewart (@kristenmstewart) December 29, 2016
— Brad Montague (@thebradmontague) December 29, 2016
A cappella groups are kind of like someone who can whistle really well. Nifty trick, but you can stop now.
— Barnabas Piper (@BarnabasPiper) December 29, 2016
Settle down, weight-loss program ads. I still have 34 hours.
— Jan Moyer (@moyermama) December 30, 2016
An essential oil rub actually worked on my sore shoulder. I just thought someone should know. I expect the levitation power comes later.
— Laura McClellan (@laura_mcclellan) December 31, 2016
Nice of Chick-fil-A to play this game on a Saturday so the players and coaches can take tomorrow off to spend time with their families.
— John Crist (@johnbcrist) December 31, 2016
See, Barbie is just like the average woman. You know she's hating those bangs right now. pic.twitter.com/6P41e2QGD5
— Aaron Earls (@WardrobeDoor) December 31, 2016
My 2017 resolution is to stop convincing myself I can take care of succulents.
— PJ Vogt (@PJVogt) January 1, 2017
I just had some crackers, cheese cubes, and lunch meat. How can I doctor this into an Instagram-perfect charcuterie spread?
— Adrienne Cooper (@LemonAdeH) January 1, 2017