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Hello, friends. It is March, which means the madness is upon us. If you’re new around here, welcome. This is what I do in March. 

Each year, we have a contest and the winner receives a $30 Amazon gift card! It’s a huge deal. The link to enter will be at the bottom of this post. 

But first, the moment you’ve all been waiting for in order to fill out your brackets … my March Madness Bracket Strategy. aka every thought I have while filling out my bracket. 

Here we go!

ROUND 1

MIDWEST

Kentucky vs. Hampton/Manhattan – Kentucky. This is such a no-brainer. First of all, Kentucky has won, like, every game this year. Second of all, who in the Hamptons/Manhattan is playing basketball? This isn’t the lacrosse tournament. 

[Wait. Why does it say Louisville on the side? And then Columbus below that? Did these teams already win? Oh, maybe this is where they’re playing. That must be it.]

Cincinatti vs. Purdue – Purdue. No reason. 

West Virginia vs. Buffalo – West Virginia. They’re rated 5, they’ve been here before. 

Maryland vs. Valparaiso – [Googles Valparaiso.] It’s in Indiana. And it has a fun name, but it’s rated 13 next to Maryland’s 4. Eh, Maryland.

Butler vs. Texas – Butler. I see them here a lot. 

Notre Dame vs. Northeastern – Notre Dame. They’re pretty good at sports in general, I think.

Wichita State vs. Indiana – Wichita. I think Kansas is generally good at basketball. 

Kansas vs. New Mexico – Kansas, see above. 

 

WEST

Wisconson vs. Coastal Caro. – I’m assuming that Caro. stands for Carolina. Wisconsin is rated 1, otherwise I’d totally go with Coastal Caro just because it sounds cool. 

Oregon vs. Oklahoma State – Oregon. [Googles SuperBowl because I was thinking Seattle was in Oregon because I always get those mixed up and I was going to say Oregon was on a roll this year but then realized Seattle didn’t even win and it’s not in Oregon and therefore all this is pointless, but I’m still going with Oregon.]

Arkansas vs. Wofford – Wofford, I’ve never heard of you. Welcome to the NCAA Tournament. Sorry Arkansas will beat you. 

North Carolina vs. Harvard – Listen, I like Harvard. And they had that whole Cinderella thing a couple of years ago and it was super exciting. But they’re up against North Carolina. They have blue in their school colors. And everyone knows blue = basketball success. Plus, NC is typically good at basketball. So, North Carolina, as much as it pains me. 

Xavier vs. BYU/Ole Miss – Xavier. They’re always in this, so I figure they must be pretty good. 

Baylor vs. Georgia State – Look at you, Baylor. Ranked #3. Way to go. 

VCU vs. Ohio State – I never remember what VCU stands for. [Googles VCU] VIRGINIA COMMONWEALTH. We’ll go with them. 

Arizona vs. Texas Southern – Arizona

 

EAST

Villanova vs. Lafayette – Villanova, always. 

North Carolina State vs. LSU – Y’all, I googled NC State and their mascots names are Mr. and Ms. Wuf and something called “Tuffy.” I’m going with LSU

UNI vs. Wyoming – I don’t know what UNI is. Oh, U of Northern Iowa. Iowa has had a good year this year. I’ve actually heard them talked about on Twitter and then Chris Soules is from Iowa and he found love. It’s a great year for them. 

Louisville vs. UC Irvine – Louisville. They won the whole thing a couple of years ago, so they’re probably decent. I mean, all the players have probably graduated, but the coaches are the same maybe?

Providence vs. Boise State/Dayton – Providence because they’re meant to win. (slide whistle)

Oklahoma vs. Albany – Oklahoma because they’re ranked much higher than Albany. 

Michigan State vs. Georgia – Hm. I think Georgia. Just because they’re Southern. 

Virginia vs. Belmont – Sorry, Belmont. It’s gonna be Virginia

 

SOUTH

Duke vs. North Florida/Robert Morris – Definitely Duke. Sorry, Bobby Morris. 

San Diego State vs. St. John’s – [Googles St John’s] St. John’s is in Queens, NYC. On TV, people in NYC are always playing basketball. And then also one of the first results is a quote saying, “St. John’s is great at basketball!” So, there you have it. 

Utah vs. S. F. Austin – What is S.F. Austin? [Googles] Oh, yes. Stephen F. Austin. Going with Utah because of the higher ranking. 

Georgetown vs. Eastern Washington – Georgetown

SMU vs. UCLA – I have to go with UCLA. Well, wait. SMU is ranked higher. Eh, UCLA

Iowa State vs. UAB – Again, it’s a great year for Iowa

Iowa vs. Davidson – How many schools are in Iowa? This is getting ridiculous. Iowa again. 

Gonzaga vs. North Dakota State – Gonzaga, always. It’s so fun to say. 

 

SWEET SIXTEEN 

Kentucky vs. Purdue – Definitely Kentucky. My friends still have their Christmas trees up. It better be worth it. 

West Virginia vs. Maryland – West Virginia, I think. 

Butler vs. Notre Dame – Butler. They’re a basketball school. I mean, they seem to always be in this. 

Wichita State vs. Kansas – The battle of the plains. Kansas

Wisconsin vs. Oregon – Wisconsin, I guess. They’re ranked higher. I have no reason to pick Oregon, so might as well. Also, Wisconsin’s mascot is the Badger and I recently heard about a badger that held an entire hotel hostage, so they’re pretty fierce I guess. 

Arkansas vs. North Carolina – North Carolina (blue).

Xavier vs. Baylor – I want to say Xavier because they’re usually here, but Baylor has also been here and they’re ranked higher. Plus, I always feel a bit of a kinship with Baylor because it was the other Baptist school (aside from Union dearest Union). Baylor.

VCU vs. Arizona – Hm, Arizona is ranked higher. Guess we’ll go with that.

Villanova vs. LSU – Villanova. It’s fun to say.

UNI vs. Louisville – I’m going with Louisville.

Providence vs. Oklahoma – I guess Oklahoma.

Georgia vs. Virginia – I think I have to go with Virginia. They’re ranked #2 and Georgia was already an upset to win the last round.

Duke vs. St. John’s – St. John’s, I like your story (that I made up), but I’m going to have to go with Duke.

Utah vs. Georgetown – Georgetown. They’re kind of known for basketball and I’m taking it as a sign that a commercial for Seinfeld was on while I was making this selection. #Costanza 

UCLA vs. Iowa State – Iowa State. Someone on Twitter seemed pretty sure they’d win this one. 

Iowa vs. Gonzaga – That same person was sure Iowa would win this one, but I’m going with Gonzaga because I like it. 

 

ELITE EIGHT

Kentucky vs. West Virginia – Still Kentucky

Butler vs. Kansas – Kansas because they have blue uniforms and they often win. 

Wisconsin vs. North Carolina – North Carolina

Baylor vs. Arkansas – You know what? Baylor

Villanova vs. Louisville – Hm, I think Villanova. Because Zenon, Girl of the 21st Century, would probably say it as an exclamation. 

Oklahoma vs. Virginia – Virginia, I guess. No real reason. 

Duke vs. Georgetown – Duke. Blue, from North Carolina (North Carolina is good at basketball). 

Iowa State vs. Gonzaga – I’m going with Iowa State. Just because of the fantastic year they’re having, according to at least one person on Twitter and The Bachelor franchise. 

 

FINAL FOUR

Kentucky vs. Kansas – I have to go with Kentucky, here. 

North Carolina vs. Baylor – North Carolina

Villanova vs. Virginia – I think Villanova

Duke vs. Iowa State – Duke, because they’re always good. No matter what kind of year Iowa is having. 

 

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP

Kentucky vs. North Carolina – Kentucky

Villanova vs. Duke – I think Villanova

 

WINNER: Kentucky

 

Now, you can’t copy my strategy exactly, though I know it will be tempting. You’ll have to get your own strategy. Feel free to base it loosely on mine. That’s why I do this. To help you. 

To enter to win the $30 Amazon gift card, sign up through ESPN and join my group. The password is elizabeth. Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose. May the odds be ever in your favor. And other clichés.

 

 

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