relationship status

22 Thoughts Every Girl Has About Online Dating

1. I’d never do online dating. 

2. Maybe if I’m old, like, 26 and still haven’t found someone. 

…

Okay, maybe like 28.

…

3. I am 29 now. Still single.

4. I guess it’s not that weird. A few of my friends have found their husbands that way.

5. I still don’t want to do it.

6. It’s just so expensive.

7. Okay, I guess it’s the same price as Netflix.

8. I don’t want to watch Netflix alone forever.

9. Why can’t one of my friends just set me up with someone?

10. There are no single guys. None.

11. UGH.

12. I guess there’s no harm in seeing my matches for free.

13. Filling out this profile is kind of fun.

14. How do I convey that I’m passionate about my faith and passionate about being funny without just saying that in the most boring and un-passionate way possible?

15. Crap. There are no recent flattering pictures of me. Why did I get this haircut?

16. Okay, I can always change my profile later.

17. Oh, look, I have matches. There are single guys!

18. I can’t see the full profiles without paying…

19. [emails saying matches are wanting to hear from you] That was quick. Maybe online dating does work!

20. I guess I’ll pay the stupid fee.

21. Oh.

22. I’ve made a terrible mistake.

friday

Friday Five

1. Here are 41 Nashville Facts. I didn’t know some of these. [I didn't verify any of them, so take them as you will.] 

And here’s a video about the Nashville you know vs. the real Nashville. I agree with a lot of these.  

2. What I Instagrammed Vs. What Was Really Happening, Or My Entire Life Is a Lie. I love this. In fact, there may be one on this blog someday. 

3. Disney Flying Medley. Because who doesn’t want to fly? 

4. I can’t remember where I read about Leanne Brown, but I believe she devoted her dissertation or thesis or PhD project (something to do with major work in post-graduate-level education) to writing a cookbook for people who live on a foodstamps budget (about $4 a day), but want to make healthier choices. Anyone can download it for free and print it, but you can also order it and/or donate to get it printed for families who do not have a computer/access to a printer. I haven’t yet made any of the recipes, but they look delicious. As someone who sometimes eats popcorn for dinner, I’ll probably invest in one of these. 

5. Sugar + The Hi-Lows Singing Johnny Cash. This is on repeat. 

Here’s the video for Ring of Fire: 

BONUS: 

I love this by Jenny & Tyler (feat. Sara Groves and a virtual choir)

What I really want to say…

A while back, I saw a blogger quote some of Natalie Goldberg’s advice to writers. She instructs writers who are stuck to simply write,

“What I really want to say …”

and go from there. Later, you can delete that intro, or you can leave it in. 

That single piece of advice has been one of the most valuable I’ve ever read when it comes to writing. 

When I write about stuff that’s been on my mind forever and has about 14 drafts in various places (notebooks, the notes app, gmail, google docs, Facebook messages, wordpress drafts—there is no end to my organizational prowess), I get tied up in saying it perfectly and starting it off in exactly the right way. Then nothing gets written and even less gets published. This happens to me not just in writing. I get caught up in how to best present something in texts, emails, and actual conversation, too. Especially when the topic is heavy on my heart or truth I’m still wrapping my mind around, I can get tied up in saying it exactly the right way. 

So, I’ve started using Natalie Goldberg’s advice. I’ll type, “What I really want to say …,” take a deep breath, and finish the sentence. Beginning with that simple sentence fragment takes off the pressure of a fantastic first start, even if I delete it later. It makes me sit down across the table from my reader, wrap my hands around my mug of tea, look them in the eyes, and tell them what I’m trying to tell them. 

I’ve also caught myself saying it in conversation. It not only gives me a way to start a topic, but it also allows me a chance to think. While I’m saying, “What I really want to say …” I have a moment to figure out what that is. What do I really want to say? Asking that question is a catalyst for truth-telling, transparency, and vulnerability, as well as gentleness and tact. Because so often what I want to say and what I do say are not the same. 

What I really want to say is that I’ve found this immensely helpful, so like the blogger before me, I thought I’d pass it on to you. 

 

 

friday

Friday Five

This is going to start out a little English-major nerdy. I’m not apologizing; I’m just letting you know. 

1. Why Readers, Scientifically, Are the Best People to Fall in Love With. I read a lot (just saying). 

“It’s no surprise that readers are better people. Having experienced someone else’s life through abstract eyes, they’ve learned what it’s like to leave their bodies and see the world through other frames of reference.”

2. Word Crimes. [I know you've probably seen this by now, but I had to include it because three people personally messaged me to make sure I saw it. I did. And I loved it.] 

3. What I Learned About Movies from a Well-Read Dog. This is an article about Wishbone, but more than that, it’s an article about the importance of story and digesting stories in the context of relationships. 

4. Why Write? Penmanship for the 21st Century. I found this interesting on a few levels. This is why we need to teach our kids handwriting and why I often feel like I think better when actually writing. 

5. God Isn’t Good Only When You Say So. This is a topic that is dear to me and I’ve written on a few times, but I love the way Tyler Huckabee puts it, as well. 

BONUS: 

This woman is incredible. I don’t even know how some of this stuff is humanly possible (I’ve never watched this show) and then this tiny person completes it with ease! My jaw dropped a few times.  

writing

Thanking God for Saying No

I recently got to sit down with my Plan A—the plan I’d hoped for, dreamed of, and petitioned over and over for God to give me. 

I sat down and my Plan A sat across from me. It told me, in so many words, what it looked like now. What its job is, who its friends are, how its growing family is doing. We did the “How are you?”s and talked about serious things—faith, love, etc. I joked with my Plan A and it only sometimes laughed. I spent time watching Plan A interact with its people. The people I thought would be mine. At one point, I got quiet. I sat, observing my Plan A, and I realized … I didn’t like it. 

It’s a weird thing to be face to face with the life you always wanted. To go on vacation with it. To work down the hall from it. To share chips and salsa with that life is a surreal experience. Even more surreal is realizing you are thankful the life you wanted so badly is not your life. 

The other night, I thanked God for showing me Plan A. I thanked Him for not giving me what I always wanted. I thanked Him for instead giving me a different plan (I’m pretty sure we’re off the alphabet at this point) than the one I had ever so fervently begged Him to give me. I thanked God for saying no. 

And I had to smile because I know He was saying, gently, lovingly, “See? I told you.” 

friday

Friday Five

1. And one day, I’d like another sky by Hannah Brencher. This is a post about singleness. And it’s kind of long. She doesn’t necessarily say anything new that other bloggers haven’t said, but she just says it well. I liked this line:

Humans are just humans, they aren’t lifeboats. They aren’t bandaids. They aren’t completion. 

2. These Live Room sessions by NEEDTOBREATHE are their usual greatness. Here’s this week’s edition: 

3. The Story of You. This is just beautiful. Read it out loud. 

4. Selfies Anonymous.

5. 22 Important Life Skills You Learned as a Vacation Bible School Kid. They’re all completely accurate, but #13 made me laugh out loud. 

friday

Friday Five

1. If you enjoyed the OKGO video last week, you’ll need to see this making of video. 

2. Now for the USA related links, because it IS our birthday. First, if you need something to drink today, please look no further than these coffee shop beverage suggestions:

3. Fourth of July, a rap. [you're welcome] 

4. Why Younger Evangelicals May Feel Uneasy in a Patriotic Church Service. I think this is a good reminder that while we need to be thankful to live in the country we do, we also need to remember our higher citizenship. 

5. And finally, your NEEDTOBREATHE video of the week: 

Oh, and Holiday Bonus: NPR recently opened up their entire archives of Tiny Desk Concerts. These little intimate shows might be the perfect background music for your barbecue prep today. 

Tweets of the Month Club: June

tweets of the month

 

The tweets of the month on the first day of the next month! Miracle. Also, I have no idea what’s going on with the spacing here. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

friday

Friday Five

1. I meant to post this last week, but I had 5 links anyway, so it doesn’t matter. Here’s a story about The 23-Year-Old Wordsmith Behind the Hip, New Voice of the Times Crossword Puzzle I found interesting. 

2. An 8-Year-Old Writes to His Mom from Summer Camp and it is cringe-worthy and hilarious. Kids. [HT: Barnabas Piper]

3. I really like The Lone Bellow. Therefore, I really like this stripped-down cover by them. [Thanks, Laura!] 

4. Stop Saving Your Stickers. I was this kid to the core, so I love what Brooke says about not saving stuff for “special occasions.”

5. Reflecting on 20 Years of The Giver. The Giver is probably in my top 20 or so favorite books. When I read it in highschool, I was the only one in my class who liked it (because everyone else thought it ended differently than I did), but I liked that I was the only one. It seemed to mean something about Lowry as a writer, and me as a reader. I can’t wait to see the movie and I enjoyed reading Lois Lowry’s thoughts on the whole thing. 

A book is such an individual and private thing. The reader brings his or her own history and beliefs and concerns, and reads in solitude, creating each scene from his own imagination as he does.

Bonus: In case you haven’t seen it yet, OK Go’s new video is mind-boggling.

 

friday

Friday Five

1. Oxford Comma proponents rate their grammar skills higher than those who prefer to omit it. 

2. You’ll want to watch this whole video.

3. iPhone Photography Awards. These are stunning. 

4. I love this song. Love. 

5. Coming Out as a Christian. I found this article challenging. He calls Christians to live transparently, as Christians. 

Bonus: The Nicknames of all 32 World Cup 2014 Teams. [Spoiler: Some of them could use more creativity.]