Apr 19, 2018
March. I know. Easter was on April 1. I had a Greek midterm because that’s something I’m still doing (why). That is the full list of my excuses. So to just remind everyone, in March we had the Oscars, there was that “barbecue” plate from New York that got everyone in the South riled up, the most dramatic finale ever of The Bachelor happened and we hated it, March Madness happened, we prepared for Easter. Here are the best tweets about all of that and more. P: My booboo! Come back! 😩 me: you want your boo boo to come back? P: yeah! Me: well I can’t really help you with that. #Dubs: I can make you one when we get home. #likeaG pic.twitter.com/EneqevGgOH — Laura McClellan (@laura_mcclellan) March 1, 2018 Why it’s so important to set your sundial to local time when traveling. pic.twitter.com/N8qa7GBkPD — Ron Hyndman (@ronhyndman) March 4, 2018 Me: How does this cartoon that takes place under water have fire and boats sailing on top of some other water? 5 year old: Well … they … I mean … that’s just how shows work, daddy. Me: pic.twitter.com/s5eeznPIXd — Aaron Earls (@WardrobeDoor) March 3, 2018 TN DOT, I marked a couple of potholes that need attention ASAP. pic.twitter.com/WE9QQlhssl — Marty Duren (@martyduren) March 4, 2018 I always thought there’d be another civil war… And after everything with this election and twitter and all, I really thought the time was nigh… I just didn’t think it’d be over a tweet of a waxy lookin tiny barbecue plate from Brooklyn claiming to be taking over the world. — luke...
Mar 4, 2018
This month kicked off with the Super Bowl (pun seriously not intended, but left in because it was so good) and a huge episode of This Is Us. Then we had the start of the Olympics and Valentine’s Day. On Valentine’s Day/the start of Lent, we also experienced the tragedy of a school shooting in Florida. Billy Graham passed away later in the month at the age of 99. It was a short, but packed month. Whiplash warning. Here are the best tweets about it. The new wave of prosperity teachers may not mention money much, if at all, but they sure know how to make the Bible more about you than about God. — Jackie Hill Perry (@JackieHillPerry) February 1, 2018 “January was a tough year but we made it.” – @aprlkrby 😂😂😂 — Annie F. Downs (@anniefdowns) February 1, 2018 I’m about to watch my first rated R movie w my mom prayers up lol smh I’m 33 — erinmcgown (@erinmcgown) February 2, 2018 Told Mac this morning that if he ever wanted to be an Olympic athlete he better tell us now. I don’t want him resenting Sam and me while watching the luge or diving when he’s 20. — Sarah McStephens (@sarahmcstephens) February 2, 2018 When you’re legally blind, please allow approximately 3.75 hours for your annual ophthalmologist appointment. #protip — Katherine H (@grass_stains) February 2, 2018 Truth. Back in my day Justin Timberlake was in *NSYNC — David DeWeil (@daviddeweil) February 5, 2018 I hope the #SuperBowl #HalftimeShow breaks into that @OldSpice commercial… pic.twitter.com/OZjLfrdydl — Eric Schumacher (@emschumacher) February 5, 2018 He’s got a graphic of...
Feb 17, 2018
Welcome to 2018, my friends. Right on time, too. A lot of things happened last month, a few of which you’ll need to remember to understand what’s going on in these tweets. First, the start of a new year. Second, Justin Timberlake announced his next album, Man of the Woods. The old LifeWay building imploded (on purpose) in downtown Nashville. Oprah practically announced her presidency at the Golden Globes. Hawaii accidentally sent out a missile warning. Here are the best tweets about all of that and more. New Year’s Resolution #1: Don’t cry in a fast food drive-thru. — Jamie B. Golden (@jamiebgolden) January 1, 2018 “I am now a healthy person”“Chocolate?”“Yes” — VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) January 1, 2018 Sorry, I’m still in 2017 because I used the chip reader at the grocery store — David DeWeil (@daviddeweil) January 1, 2018 Me on New Years Eve: I’m gonna get so much more done this year! Me on New Years Day: Wow, look at all this new Stuff on Netflix! — Stephen Altrogge (@stephenaltrogge) January 1, 2018 Just got asked if I was a model**by a man pushing a baby stroller filled w cans lol smh — erinmcgown (@erinmcgown) January 2, 2018 Jan 1: I’m gonna read the whole Bible this year! Jan 2: I need to catch up from yesterday! Jan 3: You know what, I’m just being legalistic. — Stephen Altrogge (@stephenaltrogge) January 2, 2018 I took my kids camping once too, JT pic.twitter.com/CMt0E7GwDc — John Starke (@john_starke) January 2, 2018 I think we all just need our fortune cookies to say "It’s gonna be ok" — David DeWeil (@daviddeweil)...
Jan 1, 2018
We made it! We made it to 2018! Congratulations, everyone. Before we sign off on 2017 completely, let’s reflect on the best tweets in December. In December, Advent began, it snowed in the South (but not in Nashville), Prince Harry got engaged, Carman got married, Beth Moore invited some of her twitter friends over for dinner and everyone else wanted to crash the party, we celebrated Christmas, we spent a lot of time with our families, we bid farewell to 2017. Here are the best tweets from my feed from the last month of 2017: We need Advent as much as ever this year. The world has gone insane. False prophets and charlatans abound. We need the clear calling of "Come Lord Jesus" to resound over our culture of compromise and nonsense. And we need the comforting knowledge that he will, indeed, come. — Mike Cosper (@MikeCosper) December 1, 2017 To me, the arts are handiwork that continually whisper, "There's more to life than what you see." — Mike Cosper (@MikeCosper) December 2, 2017 I’d like to thank Bath and Body Works‘ “buy one Christmas candle for $25 or buy 5 for $6 each” for playing a role in me failing calculus II as a student — David DeWeil (@daviddeweil) December 2, 2017 HAVE I spent approximately one-eighth of my adult life watching The Office bloopers on YouTube? That is between me and Jesus. — Katherine H (@grass_stains) December 3, 2017 Can't be neutral about Christmas. Either is changes everything or it means nothing — Dean Inserra (@deaninserra) December 3, 2017 Christians have read the end of the...
Dec 20, 2017
I’ve seen the pictures and posts on social media. I’m sure you have, too. Engagement photos, birth announcements, job promotions, new homes, wedding pictures. Then, right there in the caption of the smiling photo: “God is so faithful!” We like to say how faithful God is when things go our way. We talk about how our good news is a story of God’s faithfulness. And that is true. God is faithful—always. That is part of who He is. Every story of His people is a story of His faithfulness. That’s just it. God is faithful when things go our way, when we get the promotion, when we get a ring, when our baby is born healthy, when the tests come back negative, and when we get the house we wanted. God is also faithful when things don’t go the way we think they should. When I think about how often the Bible talks about God’s faithfulness—how He loves and forgives unconditionally, how He keeps all His promises, how He is Immanuel, with us—I can’t help but also think about all the times it must have been difficult for His people to believe that. In Genesis 3, God promises Eve an offspring who will crush the serpent’s head. In Genesis 4, her first offspring murders her second. She died without seeing that promise fulfilled. Noah watched everyone in the world except for his family die in a flood. Then he watched it rain for 40 days. Abraham grew old waiting on God to keep His word. Jacob walked with a limp for years after wrestling with God. Joseph was sold...
Dec 5, 2017
In November 2017, we all got 280 characters on twitter, we were thankful for the little things and the big things, the time changed, Prince Harry got engaged, and absolutely nothing else happened whatsoever in the news. Here are the best tweets from my feed this month: I'm so glad to live in a world where there are Novembers. — Barnabas Piper (@BarnabasPiper) November 1, 2017 We’ll know we’re growing childlike faith when what we’re believing God for is so ridiculous we’re almost embarrassed to tell it in public. — Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) November 1, 2017 Woman In Singles Ministry Gets Married, Promoted To Real Christian https://t.co/cSP3uFzP7Z pic.twitter.com/G1ltlBNuZS — The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) November 2, 2017 Something magical happens in your 30’s where Friday nights are like a youth group lock-in except it’s just you in your house. — Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) November 4, 2017 PASTOR: Christ is risen. CONGREGATION: He is risen indeed! TODDLER MOMS: ugh time change is the WORST my kid rose an hour early today. — Fake J.D. Greear (@FakeJDGreear) November 5, 2017 It is sacred to weep for those in Christ we have never met. They are our very own. Our flesh. Our bone. Our people. We share the same blood. — Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) November 5, 2017 Annabeth told @jonescurtis she learned about the knuckle barn in church. Further questioning revealed the knuckle barn to be the tabernacle. — Amanda Jones (@AmandaMoJo) November 6, 2017 Now that I have 280 I should keep in mind how much better a writer 140 made me. — Marty Duren (@martyduren) November 8, 2017 Gideon’s army only...
Nov 15, 2017
October 2017. AIM died. 280 character tweets were rolling out to even more people. The 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation. Halloween. OCTOBER! Put on those boots, tighten dem scarves, and find that flannel. We have selfies to take at the pumpkin patch! — Dean Inserra (@deaninserra) October 1, 2017 Welcome to October: The best month of the year. — Andrew T. Walker (@andrewtwalk) October 1, 2017 The best month of the year starts today. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. — Russell Moore (@drmoore) October 1, 2017 I am scrolling right past 280 word tweets #istilloveyou #butitstoomuch — Kathryn Freeman (@KathrynAnnette) October 3, 2017 They should let everyone on hold with customer service talk to one another. — John Mayer (@JohnMayer) October 4, 2017 Genius. [This is the part of the show where I tell you I do not follow John Mayer, but I have heard he is tweeting interesting things these days.] Just started The Good Place and figured this would be a pause-worthy repository of jokes. I wasn’t wrong. 😂 pic.twitter.com/kEWepN3MKJ — Laura McClellan (@laura_mcclellan) October 4, 2017 Ever read something a hundred times and you read it again and something new pops out? That's how I feel about the Cheesecake Factory menu. — John Crist (@johnbcrist) October 4, 2017 Rough year. Good God. We're still breathing. Ain't nothing hopeless. — Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) October 6, 2017 I have yet to read a 280-character tweet. Haven’t built up the attention span. — Matt Smethurst (@MattSmethurst) October 6, 2017 “I tried ringing you earlier” Yes, I saw. As it was happening. — VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) October...
Oct 20, 2017
Per 2017, a lot happened in September, too. Here’s what you need to know to understand these tweets: the Emmys, Twitter’s rolling out of longer tweets. Consider this your oasis of normal twitter in the midst of 2017 twitter. Here are the best tweets from my feed this month. "And thats why you should let me choose who you date." ~me, after showing my boys the video for "Look what you made me do". — Jan Moyer (@moyermama) September 1, 2017 For Who the Bell Tolls #RuinABookTitleInOneLetter pic.twitter.com/UKfNk0tZNb — Tsh Oxenreider (@tsh) September 1, 2017 I put on some essential oils so am I ready to like go live on Facebook or something — David DeWeil (@daviddeweil) September 2, 2017 Oh y'all who told me to keep watching #ThisIsUs… y'all ain't right! Y'all just ain't right! Call yourself Christians! #MemphisTrauma — Thabiti Anyabwile (@ThabitiAnyabwil) September 3, 2017 The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to announce that The Duchess of Cambridge is expecting their third child pic.twitter.com/DZCheAj1RM — Kensington Palace (@KensingtonRoyal) September 4, 2017 An heir, a spare AND ANOTHER ONE!!!! pic.twitter.com/8csckxwwqt — Sarah McStephens (@sarahmcstephens) September 4, 2017 One sign of a post-literate culture is arranging #books on shelves not by author or subject but color. S'pose they're nice doorstoppers too. — Karen Swallow Prior (@KSPrior) September 4, 2017 You know, now that I've sat a week with the new Taylor Swift song, listened to it a few times after all the hot takes, it's still terrible. — Jared C. Wilson (@jaredcwilson) September 4, 2017 #notmymillenials pic.twitter.com/k7osUvtFii — Jackie Hill Perry (@JackieHillPerry) September 4, 2017 Same....
Sep 14, 2017
Whew. August 2017, y’all. White Supremacists marched in Charlottesville. Nashville was on the path of totality for the solar eclipse. Taylor Swift teased her new album, then dropped a single to … mixed reviews. Hurricane Harvey landed in Houston. (And a few more things political and religious that don’t appear in the following tweets and therefore I do not feel the need to get into here.) There will be quite a bit of whiplash in reading these tweets. Buckle up. Here are the best tweets that showed up in my feed this month. Just got matched with my brother on eHarmony, so I guess you could say I'm officially a southerner now. — Kristin Weber (@kristinweb) August 1, 2017 You *is* WRONG, Microsoft squiggly line. pic.twitter.com/d5pCW6yyEn — Aaron Earls (@WardrobeDoor) August 1, 2017 :: Charleston TSA pulls my bag :: TSA: Whatcha got in there—grits? Me: Yup TSA, deadpan: Figured. Just 'member cook 'em a full 20 minutes — Jack Jenkins (@jackmjenkins) August 1, 2017 Current political situation upside: I'm more aware of what's going on in gov't. Downside: I'm more aware of what's going on in gov't. — Heather Warfield (@HeatherWarfield) August 2, 2017 6YO just slammed back a dish of sprinkles like it was tequila. Follow me for more precious parenting moments. — Jan Moyer (@moyermama) August 3, 2017 Friends, sip, gulp, or stew, all of God's word is for all of you all the time. >> — Lore FergusonWilbert (@lorewilbert) August 3, 2017 2. Meditate on one Psalm or Proverb or verse from the Gospels or Espistles. >> — Lore FergusonWilbert (@lorewilbert) August 3, 2017 4. Copy...
Aug 6, 2017
Hey. A lot of things happened in July. But I was also not on Twitter as much. That really just means that a recap is probably not necessary, and I wouldn’t be great at writing one anyway. These are the best tweets I did see in July. While writing in a birthday card I got sad I couldn't use emojis. Now mourning the loss of my ability to use words to convey my feelings. — Cindy Warren (@cindy_warren) July 1, 2017 Unfortunately I can't give blood because I'm 83% sweet tea — David DeWeil (@daviddeweil) July 1, 2017 What language are they referring to? and what language do they THINK they're speaking?? This line keeps me up at night. pic.twitter.com/Y94A4nkcn0 — Nathan W. Pyle (@nathanwpyle) July 2, 2017 A prayer for long life: Lord, may my beloved and I reach the age that photos of us holding hands on the street become Instagram-worthy. — Ruth Graham (@publicroad) July 2, 2017 Wouldn't be a family gathering without Grandma calling someone a floozy. — Heather Warfield (@HeatherWarfield) July 2, 2017 July 4th weekend always reminds me how thankful I am for my freedom as well as how much I need a friend with a pool — David DeWeil (@daviddeweil) July 2, 2017 Don't forget it's America's birthday tomorrow. It would mean a lot if you gave her a call. I think she's been going through a lot lately. — Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) July 3, 2017 Forgetting the gospel doesn’t mean you can't remember the facts; it's the tendency to no longer be captivated and influenced by its truth. — Nathan Rose...
Elizabeth Hyndman likes drinking tea, using parentheses, and living in Nashville. Follow her on twitter @edhyndman.