These are the best tweets to hit my timeline this month.
Great friends are precious when life is fun, but they're a necessity when life is messy. Grateful to be surrounded in every season.
— Katy Boatman (@KatyBoat) August 1, 2015
I feel it's a good sign when people find out about my love of the Kardashians and they respond with "That surprises me."
— Cindy Warren (@cindy_warren) August 1, 2015
My grieving period after realizing that I sent an email incorrectly using "your" instead of "you're" is about three days.
— Kristin Weber (@kristinweb) August 1, 2015
Look away from the cares of the world a while. Lay down the phone. Laugh with someone you love. Like somebody new. Dream again. It's Sunday.
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) August 2, 2015
"Am I the only one who-" "No"
— Josh Taylor (@dearfuturejosh) August 3, 2015
God loves the everyday. The sunset. The feet in the mud. The passerby's greeting. The children making too much noise. It's all sacred.
— Paul Maxwell (@paulcmaxwell) August 3, 2015
Thirty percent of writing is complaining about writing.
— Ben Schwartz (@rejectedjokes) August 3, 2015
I imagine it’s more like 75%.
— Ron Hyndman (@ronhyndman) August 4, 2015
"I woke up on July 4th, and my first thought was 'I wonder what Taylor is doing today?' Cause she always has a great holiday." @haleybragg
— Rachel Trammell (@racheltrammell) August 4, 2015
Being asked why you're upset/cross when you fully believe yourself to be smiling politely
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) August 4, 2015
Heelies, but for like a handful of people at the same time. Oh wait, a car. I'd like to invent a car. Perfect. Done. Good meeting.
— MeLissa Luna (@ohdarlinggirl) August 4, 2015
The guy sitting next to me in this waiting room is making me super uncomfortable by not looking at his phone.
— John Crist (@johnbcrist) August 5, 2015
-Wake up at night, think I hear a noise. -40 minutes pass, no more noises. -Clearly what we have here is a remarkably quiet burglar.
— Ben Rector (@benrector) August 5, 2015
It's odd — I went years thinking I didn't have what it takes to be a model, but then, I stepped into the JCPenney portrait studio
— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) August 6, 2015
"Stop seeing posts but stay friends" – YES. To everyone. #FB
— Cindy Warren (@cindy_warren) August 6, 2015
Watching my dog at daycare on live stream. We've reached a new level of helicopter parenting.
— Mary Carlisle Wiley (@marycwiley) August 6, 2015
Grumblers have a short spiritual memory.
— For The Church (@forthechurch) August 7, 2015
It just occurred to me that I have four (four!) tabs of Buzzfeed lists open in Chrome. I'll just see myself out.
— Megan Tietz (@SortaAwesomeMeg) August 7, 2015
Deleting a 4-hour-old tweet with a typo probably doesn’t accomplish much except make me feel slightly better about myself.
— Aaron Earls (@WardrobeDoor) August 7, 2015
Hell is full of people who think they deserve heaven. Heaven is full of people who know they deserve hell.
— Trevin Wax (@TrevinWax) August 9, 2015
The lesson here is if you want me to take you for x-rays when the injury is legit, don't cry just when a brother breathes your air.
— Jan Moyer (@moyermama) August 9, 2015
Nashville's got more cranes than a Frazier episode.
— Dave Barnes (@davebarnesmusic) August 9, 2015
If I ever have another job interview where they ask if I have any questions, I plan to go with, "Do you ever get really sad for no reason"
— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) August 10, 2015
When Paul was talking about "it's better to remain single," I'm pretty sure he had joint Facebook accounts in mind.
— Jonathan Howe (@Jonathan_Howe) August 10, 2015
There is no quicker path to fury for a Southern woman than being asked to read numbers aloud on an automated customer support line.
— Sophie Hudson (@boomama) August 10, 2015
“Si-ix, Wo-uhn, Fahvuh.”
You know when you just find money laying around that you didn't know you had? If so, can you teach me how to do that?
— James Southworth (@jasouth722) August 11, 2015
Some books should be blog posts, some blog posts should be tweets, some tweets should remain thoughts.
— devinmaddox (@devinmaddox) August 11, 2015
Is your acting described as "uncomfortably cheesy" and/or "creepy"? Congrats. There's a place for you in our Bloodborne Pathogens HR video!
— kyla crowther (@whatkylasaid) August 12, 2015
I feel like I deserve a "I survived the Green Hills Trader Joe's Parking Lot" T-shirt every time I get out dent-free.
— Rachel Trammell (@racheltrammell) August 13, 2015
Brit 1: Sorry, are you in the queue? Brit 2: Oh, no I'm not, sorry! Brit 1: Oh, sorry! <both Brits laugh uncontrollably with relief>
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) August 13, 2015
Two fantastically evil lies: (1) God doesn't love you with his whole heart. (2) You love God with your whole heart.
— Bethany Jenkins (@BethanyJenkins) August 13, 2015
FYI: Lowe's cannot make you a new house key based on what you remember about the lost one.
— Jamie Golden (@JamiesRabbits) August 13, 2015
“There are very few records of what their life was like then.” – today’s historians “Good lord they told us EVERYTHING.” – future historians
— Tiffany Dorrin Olsen (@NotThatOlsen) August 15, 2015
I think we could all learn a thing or two about bravery from Kmart's decision to stay in business
— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) August 16, 2015
"Guess the tooth fairy was busy last night and forgot the money." 8: "yeah, busy watching Netflix."
— Jan Moyer (@moyermama) August 16, 2015
You can’t really know what someone else thinks of you, but one look at the cross tells you what God thinks of you. You are broken & beloved.
— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) August 16, 2015
Emergency Contacts List: ✔️Parents ✔️Brother ✔️Twitter
— Jamie Golden (@JamiesRabbits) August 17, 2015
6YO: how do they build buildings that are taller than the builder? … … Me: I know, right?
— Jan Moyer (@moyermama) August 18, 2015
Jan has a whole series like this, FYI. It closely mirrors my plan to tell my children everything remotely related to science is “magic.”
This musician "searching for surreal environments" & refusing to take off his sunglasses inside is why you can't have nice things, Nashville
— Jenna (@jpeyt) August 19, 2015
When you doubt your gifts, you doubt the giver.
— Dave Barnes (@davebarnesmusic) August 19, 2015
My life goals have shifted from 'win a Grammy' to 'avoid being the topic of my Uber driver's future rides' #DreamBig
— Matt Wertz (@mattwertz) August 21, 2015
Of my 9 grandchildren, two of the sisters are named Harper and Collins. Some of you may see the irony in that.
— Thom Rainer (@ThomRainer) August 22, 2015
Time travel is real folks. I boarded a plane in Nashville and arrived in East Berlin in 1979. Oh wait, what? This is Laguardia? Never mind.
— Barnabas Piper (@BarnabasPiper) August 22, 2015
Move to Nashville. Everybody is doing it. - Gandhi
— Scott Sauls (@scottsauls) August 22, 2015
"The Lord's forgiveness does not hold grudges. It's holds feasts." – @Kelly_Minter
— Bethany Bordeaux (@bethanybordeaux) August 22, 2015
My deer mount finally came! I think these are called "non-typical". I dropped him with an air rifle. pic.twitter.com/AxQixmkeO3
— Ron Hyndman (@ronhyndman) August 22, 2015
[This is my dad. I am certain this deer head will be hanging somewhere in our house. Mostly I am certain because we once stuck a tiny ornament mounted deer head to the wall of our house as a joke one Christmas and it stayed up for years.]
Yeah being an adult is hard but it also means that if you want Pop-Tarts for lunch you get to have Pop-Tarts for lunch.
— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) August 23, 2015
Him: Why are you single? Me: Not sure. It may have something to do with 100 hours of podcasting, 800 blog posts, and 25,000 tweets.
— Jamie Golden (@JamiesRabbits) August 25, 2015
Tried to type "not prepared", phone autocorrected to "joy pyrotechnics". I'm def not prepared for that.
— Abigail Hyndman (@ARHyndman) August 25, 2015
2 y.o.: *crying* Me: Why are you crying? Her: *more crying* Me: Why are you crying? Her: I just want to cry. I'm not ready for teen years.
— Aaron Earls (@WardrobeDoor) August 25, 2015
We pray, talk, write, read, teach, counsel, and even tweet because words matter. Don't waste them on hate, slander, grumbling, or division.
— Brandon Smith (@BrandonSmith85) August 25, 2015
Man, midwives really help people out.
— Rachel Trammell (@racheltrammell) August 25, 2015
Think about it …
Weird humming coming from our pipes. We’ve ruled out the furnace, the dishwasher, the dryer, the disposal, and basilisks.
— Jessica Buttram (@JButtWhatWhat) August 26, 2015
There is excitement in the ordinary, courage in faithfulness, adventure in the everyday.
— Aaron Earls (@WardrobeDoor) August 27, 2015
I wonder why I can't fall asleep, he said, clutching the glowing screen in his hand, reading the 140 character insights of strangers.
— Jason Gausta (@jagausta) August 28, 2015
Everyone in Nashville looks famous.
— Whitney English (@WhitneyEnglish) August 29, 2015
"Yeah, this 'family size' isn't what it used to be." Translation: "I started eating these chips on the way to your party."
— Kelsey Alexander (@KelseyLynn7) August 29, 2015
Jesus loves me. This I know. Probably the first thing I was ever taught. Takes me my whole lifelong to believe and comprehend it.
— Russell Moore (@drmoore) August 30, 2015
Swiping left to right should be reserved for scooping caviar garnish with a spoon. https://t.co/GNQFGGg48Z
— Joe Fox (@NY152) August 30, 2015
A group of ad execs frown at a chalkboard with the words "Pumpkin Flavor" on it. I go cross out "Flavor" and write "Spice." Everyone cheers.
— Tyger Huckabeatz (@TylerHuckabee) August 31, 2015